Kushada (To wed)

The last few weeks have been progressing as a surprisingly fast pace, a sharp contrast to 2 months ago. My sisi’s wedding kept me busy for about 4 days as I was assigned different tasks including decorating the wedding/reception hall (yes, it was a very Western wedding!), baking for our guests from Durban, cooking for the reception, and taking many photographs for my family (including a photo shop at a local garden center!). It was an interesting few days but I was so happy to be included in the celebrations.

The wedding itself was a cultural adventure and a challenge to my tolerance for different perspectives on marriage and gender equality. Though Western in décor, the wedding presented a dichotomy of Swazi life—the merging of traditions handed down through many generations and strikingly modern elements. The external attributes seemingly new, the practice of marrying by a Christian minister, and the presentation of the new couple all claimed from Western traditions. But, the underlying meaning of marriage, the relationships between families, and the role of the new wife was strikingly Swazi. When the wedding ended, the bride’s family including brothers, sisters, Mkhulu and Gogo were asked to leave the reception hall because there was not enough space for the broom’s family to sit. No one seemed offended by the request and it became apparent that it was the groom and his family that have ownership over the wedding ceremony. So, while we sat outside to eat our lunch, we celebrated away from the wedding party. The next day, day 2 of the wedding, was also drastically different from America’s many wedding traditions. The “giving of the gifts” is the presentation of gifts from the bride and her family to the broom’s family. Gogo did not attend this event, as it is traditionally expected that she stay at home and grieve the loss of her daughter. It was a long day as Molli trudged from the truck into the tent where the groom’s family was seated to present gifts such as blankets, pillows, hand-woven mats, towels, dishes, toothbrushes, and scarves. Followed by an entourage of bridemaids and flower girls, Molli wrapped the men in their new blankets and placed the mats at their feet all the while keeping her head down in respect to her elders and new family. When all was said and done, we again feasted but this time, Molli’s family members were the guests of honor, placed at nicely organized tables and served rather than standing in line to fight for a portion of fried chicken. Instead, I had my fried chicken handed to me and I enjoyed every bite.

Since the wedding, I have been happily busy with planning for Walk the Nation, an event being planned by volunteers to traverse the Kingdom of Swaziland while educating people about HIV/AIDS and providing mobile testing units along the route. I am also working with a teacher at the local primary school to initiate a few clubs at the club and another teacher at the high school to organize a Culture Competition in which students use the traditional Swazi dancing/singing to create new songs to raise awareness about HIV. Both are slow-moving projects but at least they give me something to look forward to.

For my last bit of story telling, I was riding on a khombi (15 passenger van) the other day in Mbabane and 2 kids about ages 5 and 6 were speaking in English to one another. Most of it was nonsensical but I suddenly heard the boy say to the girl, “Don’t speak to me, speak to my lawyer!” I burst out laughing as did the boy’s mother. Apparently he picked it up from a TV commercial but it was hysterical to hear Swazi kids banter about lawyers and especially while practicing their English!